Blondin 3 Ring Circus

Life, Love and Laughter from inside my circus!

Change is hard!

Posted by ab39 on September 5, 2007

Why is change soo hard?  We get soo comfortable in our lives that when the time comes for a change…it can be almost unbearable.  It has a way of turning our lives upside down and make us feel as if we have no control over the everyday routines that we try soo hard to follow.

The past 6 months have been full of change in our lives and all 5 of us in the Blondin household have had some major ups and downs.  It has not been until recently that I have realized how hard it has been on our girls, my husband and myself.

 Now, when it seems like we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, we have another change looming ahead of us.  And this change will once again affect each one of us. 

It has never been more evident to me than it is right now that we (I) have no control over our lives.  God is and has been in control the whole time. 

The changes in my life have been painful…almost as if I was going thru a grieving process…which I actually feel as if I am still going thru.  It is soo easy to go thru this time and point the finger at other people and say that they are the ones to blame for the way I am feeling.  When we put the blame on someone else for the way we feel, it is easier to justify what we are feeling and what we are going thru. 

I started reading a book called, “The Heartache No One Sees” by Sheila Walsh and could not believe how much of it pertained to me.  I felt as if I was reading my life story…detail by detail.  It not only was scarey, but also very convicting.  After I was done reading this book, my mother in law gave me a book called, “I May Not Be Wonder Woman, But I am Wonderfully Made”.  This book also hit me between the eyes.  I finally decided that it was time to take a good long look at myself. 

Taking a long, hard look at myself has been revealing…God is definetly showing me where my heart was not on the right track.  When you are in a situation where you have to make some decisions that are not easy to make….decisions that are hurtful….and you finally stop pointing the finger of blame at others and start looking at yourself, it can be ugly…we dont always want to see ourselves for who we truly are. 

God wants my focus to always be on Him.  He wants my heart to be one of worship and praise instead of sadness and confusion.  I had allowed these problems to become soo big in my heart and head that they not only were bringing me down emotionally, physicall and spiritually but they were also disrupting my family. 

Now that I can look back on the journey I have been taking over the past year, I realize that I really have no one to blame or point the finger at except to point it right at myself!  God has been showing me over and over where my heart has not been in the right place and where I have fed on other people’s choices, attitudes and decisions.  I absolutley allowed myself to get caught up in all the “MESS” and because of this, I have changes to make. 

Starting over is hard.  It feels as if we are totally starting over…starting over with friends, church, work, school and more.  It truly has been hard on all of us.  But I do know that with God’s help, we will make it!  God is holding us in the palm of His hand and loves us with a love that is hard to comprehend.  SOO, for these reasons, I will PRESS ON and keep looking ahead!  “This too shall pass” keeps coming back to my mind.  We will find our way and with God’s help and blessings it will be for the better.

Thank you Lord for loving me and for your patience and grace in my life!

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