Blondin 3 Ring Circus

Life, Love and Laughter from inside my circus!

Marriage Is Hard Work!

Posted by ab39 on December 8, 2007

 On The Cheek


Marriage is hard work!  The past year has brought many changes for my husband and I.  It has been interesting to see and realize how much my husband loves me and has stood up for me.  We have been married 16 years, and I remember during the first years of our marriage it was anything but wonderful.  We had a lot of differences between us, and I worked hard at trying to change him…trying to make him what I thought he should be.  A lot of men and women struggle with the differences they see in their partners.  Just because I prefer to do something one way, and my husband prefers to do it another way – does not make one of us right and one of us wrong.  It simply showcases our differences.  This is an area in our marriage when we were first married where I definetly messed up and took to an extreme.  We, as women, are bad for trying to change our husbands.  I know that we fuss at them, and insist on them doing things our way.  We can be soo hard on our spouses.

I have been learning something along the way.  If I try and mold him into the ideal of what I think he should be, then he would cease to exist.  My husband has soo many qualities and characteristics that are good for me.  He complements my style, my personality and oftentimes is the exact thing that is needed to make me stop and listen to common sense.  I cant tell you how many times he has bravely or lovingly voiced his thoughts that were contrary to my own.  And I NEEDED to hear them…whether I wanted to or not. 

It has occured to me that I am very grateful that my hubby is different than me.  It can be uncomfortable and frustrating at times, but it is only up to each one of us to individually make the choice to change.  Once I stopped nagging and trying to change him, and started focusing more on myself and my actions, things seemed to be calmer between us and in our home.  We will only answer to God for the things we have done…not the things that our husband has done.  Redirecting my focus off of him and onto what I need to be doing took a load off of our marriage. 

SOOO, let each other be who they are.  Pray for each other and love each other despite their flaws.  Listen to what each other has to say – for the other person may truly know what they are talking about.  After all, no one knows you better than the one you live with!  Be free to be whom God created you to be whether or not your spouse agrees with all of your thoughts, actions, or “particulars”.  I have learned that I value my spouse a lot more by having them be “them” instead of just another copy of “me”. 

I sure do love my hubby….I am IN LOVE with him.  He is wonderful to me and takes care of me.  I am blessed to know him and to be a part of his heart.  I guess you could say that I am definetly one lucky girl!  🙂

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