Blondin 3 Ring Circus

Life, Love and Laughter from inside my circus!

Feeling Lonely

Posted by ab39 on December 11, 2007

 Best Friends 1 I’ve been feeling lonely lately.  Bobby and I have made some hard changes in our life this year….and as I have stated before….we have more changes that we know of still ahead of us.  With one of those changes, life became drastically different for me….for us.  You see, several of my closest friends have left my life this year.  I think they would say that they havent left….that I am the one who left….but, for me personally, it is not the same and it has been very hard on my heart.  Bobby and I both had not realized how much of our social life revolved around our church….which is not a bad thing….but, when you make a decision to visit around and look around…..we all of a sudden did not have that social life anymore.  I have been praying for a long time for God to bring some new Godly women into my heart and life.  We as women are such social beings – we need that close, intimate socialization and friendship.  We need other women in our lives to hang out with, to talk with, and to rely on.  Right now, I dont have that.

PLEASE dont get me wrong – yes, I still have friends.  I have friends at work, at churches and several around town.  Yet my heart desires a few “best” buds.  Those who you can laugh and be silly with – those who are there for you and your family when you need them – those who you just “click” with.  They can see you at your best, and see you at your worst….and not be judgemental….love you no matter what.

I have always been blessed to have very precious people in my life.  I still have them.  The thing is, that because of God moving us in a different direction right now…..those people are not around.

I have been praying about this for quite awhile.  And I am not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me.  Absolutley NOT!  Deep friendships can not be forced – they will take time and God will bring those dear friends into my life at His timing (which is always perfect!) and in His way.  Yet, I think that it needs to be okay for women to say “I’m Lonely!” without feeling like a reject.  It is not always a reflection on you – sometimes it is just circumstances that have taken intimate friends out of your life.  And it is okay to desire close friends in your life.  You dont have to act needy or desperate to acknowledge that you need that in your life.

I have realized and figured out that God is teaching me valuable and hard lessons right now…Relying on Him is definetly something He is making clear to me.  But, I do miss certain things….I miss having women that I can count on.  I miss having a girldfriend call me up or check in on me.  I miss being able to laugh and be all silly with someone else. I miss having families over to hang out with my family.  I miss it all….plain and simple!

I seem to have been a friend for the most part that has been there for others when they have needed me.  I love being that kind of friend – dont get me wrong.  My heart has always wanted to be that kind of friend for others.  But now – I just really desire an equal friendship with a few other women.  Women who inspire me in the Lord and who I can inspire.  Women who love their husbands and are trying their best to raise their children in the admonition of the Lord.  Women who can come to my home and not to be “entertained”.  Women who dont already have best friends so that they dont have room (or time) for me or my family.  Women who remember me….when a cookout happens, a movie comes out, shopping is calling….or anything else.  Just to be remembered!  Women who dont mind how far away their house is across town from mine.  Women who respect the differences in our personalities and character – so that neither one of us has to judge the other – but can enjoy one another.  Women to cry with, laugh with, be sick with, and be embarrassed with. 

For whatever reasons – God is walking me through this time in my life without a best friend – or two – or three!  🙂

SOOO, I will wait on the Lord….and I will trust in Him and His plans.  But I also want to be honest.  And for today – I just want to acknowledge that I need some best friends in my life.  It would sure be great if God chose to send them to me soon… 🙂

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